If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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