do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
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I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
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I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have tasted many bathrooms
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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