Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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