oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize