Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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