Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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