Grow some girl-balls and come out already
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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