i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
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I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
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I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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