a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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