I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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