I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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