I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize