I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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