I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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