Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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