We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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