You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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