After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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