Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize