So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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