I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize