I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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