well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
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I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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