well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
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I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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