can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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