so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
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I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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