You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize