Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
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I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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