Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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