Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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