FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You were trust falling into bushes
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize