Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
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Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
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Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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