I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
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Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
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I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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