The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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