He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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