3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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