She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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