when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize