Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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