Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
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Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
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I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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