Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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