I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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