I wanna passion pit in your ass
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize