She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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