My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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