New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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