There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
being pregnant is like rehab
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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