i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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