I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize