I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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