ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
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I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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